The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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