I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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