I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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