Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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