he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
