; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
