Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my liver is dry heaving
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
