He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
