We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
