But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
