The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
