Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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