WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
