My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
