Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system

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(419): View more from Ohio

You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

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(775): View more from Nevada

We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne

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(727): View more from Florida

No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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(586): View more from Michigan

Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.

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