Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
