Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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