Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
