at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
