nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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