i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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