There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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