i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
