the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
