Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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