i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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