Umm I'm too high to move.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
