I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize