even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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