Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
