so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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