Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
