Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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