my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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