it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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