Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
