i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
