my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
