McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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