Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
