i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize