how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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