Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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