Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
