His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
