Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
