I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So many bounce houses so little time
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
