Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize