First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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