is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
