I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
