are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
