Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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