why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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