I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
