I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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