who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
