this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
