How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
