I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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