i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
