i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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