cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
