I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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