Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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