we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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