How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
